Shit I Don’t Understand, September 2012

I don’t understand why bars that print a new receipt after every order do so after the first drink order of a customer reading a dinner menu. If I were a bartender at such a place, having to do that would drive me nuts.

I don’t understand people who say they like Mitt Romney. How do you actually¬†like¬†that dufus? He’s that out-of-touch rich guy people suffer through friendship with just so they can use his pool. He’s the poster boy for how much the two-party system sucks; no way he’d be in the position he’s in with a bigger field. There’s nothing wrong with saying you’re voting for Mitt because you don’t like Obama. Just admit it. Hell, I’ve never actually voted for a politician I actually liked, but Jesse Ventura hasn’t run for president yet.

In related news, I don’t understand why I miss Herman Cain so much. Oh, wait…it must be my love of pizza.

I don’t understand NFL coaches that challenge matters of field position early in a game. Losing such a challenge almost always means not having the challenge necessary to review an important fourth quarter play. I feel the same way about teams that call timeout to avoid delay of game penalties on third and long. What’s five more yards added to a down you’re probably not going to convert? Save the timeout for something important, dumbass!

I don’t understand junkmail. Surely the assholes behind that scourge know that I’ve never responded to a single piece. The amount of car insurance offers I receive is asinine, especially considering that I don’t drive. And that Scott Brown advertisement I got today? I disowned my beloved Doug Flutie because I saw him playing the drums at that twat waffle’s victory celebration. Someone needs to update their demographic information.

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