I’ve got a confession to make: even though I’ve divorced the NFL, I still check up on it from time to time, mostly by reading about it. Yeah, I’m basically Facebook stalking my ex-wife. And appropriately, everything I’m seeing is a total reminder that I made the correct decision when I ditched that loser.
The NFL Draft was Thursday night. For the first time in years I didn’t watch a single pick. I kind of regret missing the annual Booing of the Commissioner. That shit always warms the cockles of my dead heart and it’s the closest real life thing we have to a Vince McMahon entrance, but I think I’ll live.
It’s no secret that I think quarterback is the most overrated position in professional sports and that the obnoxious focus on the QB is one of the main reasons I gave up on the NFL. Teams win championships, not quarterbacks. What’s Andrew Luck done with himself? How’s Drew Brees doing down in New Orleans? Fuck, if you’ve got a good football team a mouth-breathing scrub like Joe Flacco can complete a couple deep balls to a washed up bum like Anquan Boldin and steal a championship. You think Dak Prescott would’ve stolen Tony Romo’s job without a running game, an offensive line, and a defense? No fucking way. Matt Forte, Devin Hester, and a stout D dragged Jay Cutler’s useless ass to the playoffs how many times? Come on. Even the Patriots only win when Tom Brady’s got a defense and an offensive line.
Enter the draft. The Chicago Bears, after paying retread Mike Glennon a bazillion fucking dollars, gave up a first round pick next year plus a pile of lower selections to move up one spot and take a quarterback in a draft that’s been loudly panned as deficient when it comes to passers. Dumb. The Houston Texans also traded up to grab a project QB. Stupid. Meanwhile, the Cleveland Browns, the only club actively trying to build a team via the draft by stockpiling picks, is getting slammed for not wasting one of their three first rounders on a quarterback. If I still cared, the Browns would’ve become my new second favorite team…for an entire night. They later grabbed DeShone Kizer, who went 12-11 at Notre fucking Dame, in the second round.
Yup. Same old stupid fucking NFL. This is why the Patriots win so often. They’re only the best organization in the league because all the rest are so, so, so stupid.