On Watersportsgate

Hoooooooooooooo boy. Ever read so many hilarious Twitter jokes that you wake up feeling somewhat hungover the next morning even though you didn’t touch a drop of booze? Yeah, that’s me right now.

Yesterday, CNN reported on a cache of documents claiming that the Big DT is in bed with the Russians. Buzzfeed released those documents not long after. Turns out that whole “in bed” part is both literal and figurative; the most fun section of the report claims the president-elect went to Russia to stay in a room previously used by the Obamas and hired a bunch of local talent to perform a water sports show on the very bed the first couple slept in. The more important part alleges the Russians have been developing the guy as an asset of sorts with which to disrupt the west and that they’ve got plenty of blackmail-worthy information on him. The report was supposedly developed by an ex-MI6 agent in good standing with the intelligence community and his sources have been deemed trustworthy. This thing’s been circulating for a while now; Mother Jones reported on it briefly a few months ago, John McCain himself brought it to the FBI (turns out the FBI already had its own copy), and both the president-elect and President Obama have been briefed on it.

It should be noted that none of the information in this report has proven legit. And, quite frankly, Buzzfeed crossed an important journalistic line by releasing these documents without first verifying them. When shit like this is proven false it makes it even easier for people to dismiss the media. Transparency is a fine goal, but it’s also a goal we need to address responsibly. Many people are more than willing to act on incomplete information. That’s not a good thing.

How amazing it, though, that so many of us can read these claims and say “yeah, sounds like our new president!” I mean, Jesus. This stuff hit the public on the very same day that President Obama delivered a dignified, sincere home run of a farewell address. The contrast between the man moving out and the greasy gutter slug moving in is off the damn charts.

Try to imagine President Obama doing any of this stuff. Or W. Or Slick Willy (ok, yeah, some of it). Or Poppy Bush. Or Ronald Reagan. Or Carter or Ford or Nixon and so on and so forth. You can’t, can you? Despite their flaws, they were all dignified, sincere Americans. But with the Donald, it’s almost expected. It’s amazing. I’ve written before about how I understand the reasons people voted for him but I can’t translate those reasons into “welp, gotta vote for that guy!” This morning, my problem’s even bigger. With any other president I could’ve easily dismissed these allegations offhand. With this dude? Nope. I can totally see it. You can tell me that’s just my cuckolded libtard bias talking, but keep in mind that the left aren’t the only people who think this dude’s a monster.

And if I can put my tinfoil hat on for a paragraph, maybe that’s all part of the Big Orange Plan. Not this report, exactly, but the idea that making the public accept he’s a horrible person might make us shrug off future scandals as just business as usual. It’s like a Teflon coating made of pure, liquified garbage, or like that improved alcohol tolerance you develop when you go out every night of the week. It would be kind of brilliant in its own disgusting way.

I’m not calling for the president-elect to lose his new job. Doing so before we’ve got confirmed proof of his alleged Russian connections would be irresponsible and wrong. What I am asking, and what the whole point of this post is, is that we all pay very close attention to this story. It’s one of two very important things. Either it’s a smoking gun proving the president-elect isn’t fit for the office to which he’s been elected, or it’s a warning that we need to be very, very careful when assessing information related to his activities. And if it’s the latter, the free press may want to look out.

Have fun explaining the term “golden shower” to your parents and grandparents!

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