Fools go Russian in

By now you’ve certainly heard all the salacious details about the phone call with a Russian ambassador that led to the resignation of national security advisor Michael Flynn. If you haven’t…bro, read up, you’re seriously missing out.

You know what really fascinates me about this whole debacle, other than the fact that we’d be so much obviously better off if everyone had just cut the shit and voted for Harambe? In 2017, given everything we know about the interception of telecommunications, a member of the President’s staff thought it was alright to conduct shady business over the god damn phone. Think about that for a second. Let it sink it. Let it swirl around in your brain like an extra test tube of tequila in a steakhouse chain’s tackiest frozen margarita. Unbelievable, right? How in the fuck does that happen?

Maybe Flynn and anyone else involved are just stupid. But they’d have to be amazingly stupid. How many “the government’s listening to this call!” jokes have you heard in the last month? Probably a few dozen. Those jokes are so prevalent because everybody knows telecommunications are no longer secure. Hell, I bet your grandmother’s joked about it at fucking bingo. Which, given that the supposed goal of Russia’s recent activity is to destabilize the west, makes me wonder if the ambassador on the other end of the line was setting a trap.

Or maybe the people involved are just arrogant. The administration seems to think itself above the law. Someone intercepts this call? Who cares! Nobody’s going to do jack shit because we’re the best and there aren’t enough Democrats in DC to do anything about it!

Or—and this seems very likely—Flynn and his pals are just a bunch of luddites and this is only the first such breach we’re going to see. Reports indicate President Shitgibbon tweets from an older Android phone that’s inherently insecure and that White House staff members are using private email addresses. That’s not just hypocritical; it’s inherently dangerous, and it’s likely they’ve already been compromised.

And this is why it’s important not just to follow the news, but to think about it and discuss it. The actions of the administration say a lot about the strengths, weaknesses, priorities, and mindsets of those serving the executive branch. Sure, what they’re saying is basically “Jesus tap dancing Christ on a god damn jet ski we are a yuuuuuuuge gaggle of shitgeese,” but like everything else in life there’s a lot more to it than that.

Leave a Reply