This division is stupid. It’s a damn good thing they moved the Astros into it a few years ago or it would just be a great big pile of crap. Anyway, how’d I do with this one last year?
|My Awesome Predictions||Stupid Reality|
Jeez. Talk about a great big pile of crap.
1. Houston Astros – I didn’t trust their pitching last year. I do now. Carlos Correa’s a stud, Jose Altuve’s awesome, and somehow there’s still even more talent coming up through their minor league pipeline. Somehow the Astros managed to lose the division to the Rangers last year despite a +111 run differential, the third best in the majors. That 21-29 record in one-run games will do that to you. Luckily, that record is mostly a function of…well…luck. The continued improvement of Houston’s young stars combined with better fortunes will make the Astros the team to beat in the American League this year.
Booze Equivalent: Johnny Walker Black. It only took twelve years to make, but it’s damn good now. 97 wins.
2. Texas Rangers – I am not a believer—not in the Rangers, and not in Prince Fielder’s supposed vegetarian-ness. Last year’s late season run was fun, but I just don’t think they’ve got the horses to do it again. They’re going to be a factor for the next several years, but it feels like they’re at least a pitcher or two away.
Booze Equivalent: Racer 5. Not quite as good as everybody thinks. 84 wins.
3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim – Whatever. I guess the Angels are kind of good. I mean, they’ve got Alber Pujols. And Mike Trout. And…uh…Huston Street. Yeah. It’s time to blow this one up.
Booze Equivalent: A boring, overpriced IPA. So yeah, most IPAs. 81 wins.
4. Oakland Athletics – I kind of love these guys. The constant churn of players through Billy Beane’s system is fascinating. I really like Sonny Gray, Khris Davis, and Josh Reddick, and any team that employs Billy “Country Breakfast” Butler is ok in my book, but there just isn’t enough talent here. That makes me kind of sad.
Booze Equivalent: Miller High Life. It ain’t good, but I enjoy it anyway. 72 wins.
5. Seattle Mariners – I’d type the shrug icon guy here if weren’t too lazy to go find it. There isn’t a blander roster in the majors, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. #FreeKingFelix
Booze Equivalent: Water. 71 wins.