Ban this

First off, I would like to thank President the Donald for providing me with so much blog fodder. His never-ending quest to haphazardly check off all the boxes beside his campaign promises so it looks like he’s actually accomplished something has been invigorating, to say the least.

So this immigration ban on seven Middle Eastern countries is dumb, right? Yes, I know that refugees from these areas have caused problems in Europe. Yes, I know Syria should probably be renamed Westeros at this point. Yes, terrorism is a horrible thing and we’ll remain a target as long as we’re prosperous.

I don’t care.

I could tell you we should be nicer to refugees because god damn it we’re the fucking good guys and it will pay off in the long run. I could tell you that assuming people who want to hurt us so badly won’t find a way to fake being a part of the “right” faith is extremely naive. I could tell you that declaring seven countries to be full of nothing but terrorist scum is a great way to encourage violence by people already inside our borders and is going to look amazing on the cover of ISIS’s next recruitment flyer. I could tell you that only a fucking asshole would implement changes like this without any sort of advance warning to travelers. I could tell you this whole thing will likely end up proven unconstitutional. But you’ve heard all that, so let’s get full Scott Colby on this bastard.

What this really comes down to, of course, is terrorism. Terrorists hurt people and damage property to make statements and influence the lives of their enemies. That last clause is the key, and it’s the part we’ve been doing a shit job fighting.

There’s one and only one correct way to react to a terrorist attack: help the victims, rebuild, smile and crack a beer when a drone shoves a rocket up the correct person’s ass, and don’t change a god damn thing.

When I see a metal detector at a sporting event or a concert I get pissed. When I saw a man in military fatigues carrying a big rifle in the Kenmore Square station at Red Sox Opening Day I was rip shit and I wanted to punch Wally approximately 7000 times more than I usually want to punch Wally. Every single one of these changes to our daily lives is a reminder that our enemies are slowly exerting their influence upon us—and we’re helping them. Many of these changes set a precedent that could allow future crackhead politicians to tighten down on our lives even further. It’s wasted money, time, and manpower that could be spent on more constructive efforts.

So I’m against the immigration ban not just for the humanitarian issues and logical lapses, but for the same reasons I was against the Patriot Act, expanded electronic surveillance, increased airport security, and all the rest: I ain’t fucking afraid of fucking terrorists. I’m not giving those terds the time of day. I’ve lived just north of Boston for the last decade, by the way, so don’t tell me that’s just because terrorism hasn’t impacted my life. I really don’t understand why so many Americans who live in places that would never in a million years become targets get their knickers in such a collective twist about this shit. I mean, seriously: 9/11 was horrible, but how in the fuck are we still using 9/11 as an excuse to do things? Bin Laden got got and Al Qaeda’s a smoking crater. When does it end?

If you’ve got concrete intelligence suggesting an impending attack then yeah, do something about it. If your intelligence consists solely of “these guys look like that last asshole and have a few of the same hobbies,” get the fuck outta here. If you can help fifty people but one of them might cause trouble, you absolutely help those fifty people and take your chances with that one jerk.

Refugees whose lives have been ruined by terrorism are being kept at arm’s length because they themselves might be terrorists. Wrap your head around that one. What a kick in the junk. Innocent Muslim children who don’t actually know what a Mohammed is are going to die because of this crap.

We’re the home of the brave, right? Fucking prove it.

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